Setting Better Goals
So another year has rolled around, and everyone is setting their new years resolutions. Still, you’re feeling less than excited about the idea because along with many others, you start strong, and then somewhere along the way you lose the motivation and desire to continue, why should this year be any different, right?
NEWSFLASH: You are NOT a failure or incapable of sticking to goals. Read that again. All this time, however, you were probably overestimating what you needed to do to be successful at achieving your goal.
The first rule is to set one goal at a time. Science proves we are terrible at focussing on more than one goal at a time. You need to eliminate everything else and prioritise the biggest most important goal.
The next important point when it comes to goal setting is to create one with real meaning. It can be easy to say ‘oh I should exercise more so I’ll join a gym and exercise 3 times a week’. But WHY? Is this something YOU want, or does it just feel like a ‘sensible’ goal?
Take time to think about what you want out of the next year and then once you have something dig a little deeper by asking WHY. Ask yourself why 5 times until you get to the real root of what is motivating you towards change.
For example:
I want to lose weight for my wedding this year.
WHY
Because I want to look good in the photos and feel fantastic on the day.
WHY
So that when I look back at photos I feel proud of my body and enjoy recalling memories of the day.
WHY
Because feeling confident in my body means I feel confident in other areas of life too. I feel brave enough to meet new people, try new things and not be held back and self-conscious.
WHY
So I can live a productive and fulfilling life with purpose and adventure.
WHY
Because life is meant for living, and it would be a shame to walk around not feeling as high as I know I can.
Do you see how the initial desire and the deeper why are incredibly different? The last why is a much more powerful tool to use to help you stay on track with a goal and to keep reminding yourself of why.
Remember the classic ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’. Lasting results are a result of lots of smaller steps. Try not to change everything about your life dramatically from day one. Instead, take your original goal and work out how you can find the smallest version of it.
If your goal is to lose 5kg over the next 3 months and you know that you tend to overeat, instead of going from large portions to tiny ones, why not try drinking a glass of water before the meal, putting your knife and fork down in between bites or adding 5-10 minutes onto the time it takes you to eat your meal.
By taking small steps like this at the beginning, you’ll become more aware of how much you’re eating, how you feel when you’re eating, and you’ll be able to add to those small steps over the months to achieve the ultimate weight loss goal. Just remember there is so much value you gain from the process if you allow yourself to enjoy it too.
Frame your goals positively. Try to ADD something to your life rather than restrict or get rid of something, by doing so you make your chances much more likely. Avoidance triggers us to feel bad about ourselves if we don’t manage to stay away from the wine after deciding to cut out alcohol. On the other hand, by adding more veggies and colour to each meal, you will feel much more motivated to continue each time you manage it. Be kind to yourself. Remain consistent instead of perfect, and you will make a significant impact over time.
Preparation is key. There will be days when you don’t achieve what you set out; this is inevitable; life gets in the way sometimes. However, by pre-planning or looking out for how you can work around challenges, you give yourself a good starting point. When setting a goal, reflect on each month and ask yourself ‘what might stand in my way this month?’, ‘What superpowers do I have to overcome these things?’ ‘what can I do to prepare for this situation?’.
For example, if you know that your holiday is coming up and you’re worried it might interrupt your exercise regime, perhaps you could look at how safe and practical it could be that you could replace your gym routine with a morning walk along the beach. Walk instead of getting a taxi into town for dinner or focus on eating fresh foods for the week instead of putting the pressure on yourself to remain highly active.
When you’re having a rough day, reflect on your deeper why and give yourself some extra love. If you can remain 80% consistent throughout the year, you would be sure to make some lasting change. Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction, be reassured that being human means life WILL get in your way at some point, but it doesn’t have to grind you to a halt for the long term.
You got this!